By Jaimi Erickson

Veteran Military Spouse

Sitting in my first military spouse L.I.N.K.S (Lifestyle Insights Networking Knowledge and Skills) class, I felt confident that I already had the knowledge and skills necessary to handle everything that would come my way in military life. But then my husband received orders to deploy for a year right after our first baby was born and my idealism quickly disintegrated. 

It did not take me long in that L.I.N.K.S class to realize that I had a lot to learn. I had a lot of experiences yet to come my way, so I focused on educating myself to be as ready for them as possible. 

You may have access to similar military spouse lifestyle classes, or your base Welcome Aboard/Newcomers Brief, to give you an overview of your duty station. But, there is no continuing education course on how to handle life as a military spouse during each new assignment. You must figure out how do it yourself.  

While personal growth over the years will better equip you to both handle and appreciate the challenging seasons of military life, it can also prepare you to cherish the great times before they are gone.  

There are several helpful and inspiring books written both by military spouses and nonmilitary-affiliated authors that can act as guides for you during every season you live through as the spouse of a servicemember. 

Inspiring Books for Military Spouses 

For Times When Community Is Absent from Your Duty Station

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times  
By Katherine May 

I wish I read this book when we lived at our first duty station. It would have been a gamechanger for my mindset. The idea of “wintering” is shifting the way we focus during quiet seasons. Our lives as humans can mimic the natural cycles in nature. We have duty stations where we feel more isolated and friends are hard to find. That can either feel lonely — or it can be viewed as an opportunity to rest and pour more energy into yourself. The perspective is so impactful because it teaches that quiet seasons are not a waste of time. 

For Times When You Need Strength

Always Uplifting  
By Lisa Wilt 

Keeping a devotional book at my bedside was something I did as a young mom. It helped give me a small moment every day to remember my why and focus on being grateful. Always Uplifting is an ideal read for a brief mental or emotional refresh. It is also perfect for busy military parents who need a quick reminder every day to stay motivated during challenges, such as deployments.  

For Times When You Need to Find Balance in the Parenting Load  

Fair Play 
By Eve Rodsky 

Traditionally, military life has left the spouse to manage the home and family due to the nature of deployments and extended time away that the servicemember takes on. Fair Play presents a home management system to help moms feel less burdened by shouldering all the household responsibilities. The book boils life down into the necessary tasks and makes everyone aware of what needs to be done, first. It is a way to clearly plan who will handle which family tasks and when. The program is meant to bring balance into the home and help both parents work equally for family goals. 

For Times When You’re Looking for Positivity, from the First Base to the Last 

Almost There: Searching for Home in a Life on the Move  
By Bekah DiFelice 

Almost There reveals the wide array of experiences that military spouses endure. The book points out that we are always seeking where we are meant to be rather than learning to be content where we are. Through devotional stories and warm-and-fuzzy encouragement, the author takes us on her military spouse journey in a very relatable and humble way. It’s the perfect book for new military spouses. 

For Financial Management When Living on a Military Paycheck 

The Total Money Makeover
By Dave Ramsey 

Dave Ramsey is a respected authority for learning how to budget, plan for your financial future, and live within your means. Military paychecks can fluctuate, but knowing how to budget, save and spend that money wisely can help support your future financial stability. Ramsey’s philosophy will help you focus on smart financial choices when it comes to the needs of your family. Use AAFMAA’s budgeting worksheet to build your household budget easily to reach your financial goals. 

For Every Season of Military Spouse Life 

Open When: Letters of Encouragement for Military Spouses
By Lizann Lightfoot 

Keep this book next to your bed from the day your spouse joins the military until the day they retire. Letters written from the author and experienced military spouse Lizann Lightfoot, cover every season and experience that you might go through as a MilSpouse. From your servicemember joining, to deployments, promotions and planning for retirement, you can turn to each letter when needed. Open When offers reassurance that you are not alone, and you can navigate the challenges of military life. 

For Encouragement Through Frequent School Changes

A Parent's Guide to School Choice: All the School Options You DO Have
By Jaimi Erickson 

Military families make PCS moves frequently, some as much as every two to three years. So when school-age children are part of the military family, they will frequently have to enter a new school. Some locations have great base or public schools, while others may not offer a good fit for your family.  This book is a helpful tool to navigate the array of school options that exist in most U.S. military locations.  

Growth Happens Through It All

The unexpected is always the norm in military life. That reality has proven that no matter how many deployments we live through, every experience as a military spouse provides lessons and builds strength.  

There will be fun times, hard times, and times when you wonder if you can stick it through. Military spouse life can reveal hidden strengths and shine light on your weaknesses.  

By taking steps to become more resilient, you will be better equipped for the roller coaster ride from the first duty station to the last. If you are nearing retirement or separation from the military, use the AAFMAA Military Transition Timeline to get everything in order as you plan the next stage of your journey.