By Jaimi Erickson
Veteran Military Spouse

Military spouse life is a roller coaster of experiences. Once your servicemember completes Basic Training, you don’t start at your first duty station and walk along the same path to your last. Each new place and season brings different obstacles and opportunities — often ones we wouldn’t have chosen but which are essential to navigate nonetheless.

Starting Out

When my husband first rejoined the military, he had orders to attend a six-month school. At the time, I had been teaching preschool and felt uncertain about my job prospects given the short time frame we would spend in that one place. Following my husband’s initial school session, he completed a three-month MOS training before we PCS’d to our next duty station.

With such quick transitions, I decided not to pursue employment. Instead, I saw the opportunity to lean into military spouse life in different ways. Though I wasn’t working for pay during that time, I focused on setting up our life together. I established our retirement accounts, and worked on my personal growth by joining a Bible study with other spouses and I became involved with the local military spouse group. These actions not only allowed me to network with fellow military spouses but also to contribute to our new life as my husband’s career began. After all, we weren’t sure at the time what deployments might come his way, and I wanted to make sure we’d done our due diligence of planning ahead of time.

Choosing Unique Goals as You Go

Each duty station has represented a different season of military spouse life for me. Some brought deployments, others great friendships, and all brought unique challenges. While the Marine Corps set my husband’s career trajectory — with career counselors guiding him before each PCS — no one counseled me on how to navigate my personal and professional pursuits as a military spouse. I had to figure it out on my own by approaching each duty station with flexibility and purpose.

That initial six-month duty station offered a unique experience — one I’ve never had again. It gave me time to structure my days around how I felt, what I wanted to accomplish, and who I wanted to connect with.

That season of unemployment before the birth of my first child was a gift. It allowed me to navigate military life with few complications, and the freedom to explore relationships and interests. Now, as a busy mom of four, I look back and recognize how restorative that time was, giving me the chance to rest before motherhood and its demands began. What a blessing!

I found that, even without a boss in a workplace dictating my goals during those months, I still progressed. There was nothing unproductive about that time of unemployment. I set daily goals for myself— from become a better mother to growing into a stronger person, to building friendships. \I became pregnant with our oldest child at that time. During my pregnancy, I had time to care for myself, prepare for our baby’s arrival, and savor the solitude of each day — knowing it wouldn’t last forever.

Taking on Goals We Don’t Ask For

There is a lot of talk about military spouses and employment. However, many of us choose to stay unemployed for various reasons — not because we can’t find work, or aren’t understood in the workplace, or we’re overqualified for the jobs available, or jobs in our field aren’t portable enough, or any of the other common reasons that are contemplated. Looking back, the periods of my unemployment never stunted my career. Instead, they were times of significant personal growth.

Sometimes, goals are set for us by the circumstances we face. I hadn’t wanted to handle my husband’s year-long deployment while caring for twins by myself, or to go through two major surgeries while he was gone. However, those challenging experiences taught me strength in ways I could never have developed had I not been on my own. I realized that sometimes, goals are set for us by the circumstances we face. Getting through tough situations, overcoming challenges, accomplishing things that weren’t originally part of our plan is how we grow, and that might even make some of those goals much more important to reach. We can succeed in ways we hadn’t anticipated.

All Seasons Begin and End

The beautiful reality is that every season eventually ends. The time of rest and focus I had at the beginning of my husband’s career didn’t last forever, nor did the sleepless season of caring for babies. Now, I enjoy full nights of sleep and have consistent time to work on my career goals because my children have grown more independent — their own seasons have changed them.

What may have appeared to others as a time I was not pursuing personal goals was, for me, a gift of time. It was productive in its own way. The same goes for each phase of military spouse life — it isn’t always what it seems from the outside. Every season offers lessons, growth, and blessings if we approach it with a grateful mindset.

And as our time in the military came to an end, while that season involved a lot of retirement planning, we had already prepared ourselves and experienced several life changes and knew we could manage them well enough. No matter what stage you’re currently in, know that you will be able to handle each and every one along the way, as you experience them.